Monday, April 15, 2013

Doctor Appts., Boston Bombing, Random Thoughts...

Today started out like most usual Mondays, I woke up, got ready and headed out to my doctor appointments. Since Monday is my day off I had hoped to take advantage of the nice weather we're finally having, after the tease we had two weeks ago. I never like going to the doctor, I very rarely get good news and very often get unexpected disappointing news. Many times I go in for one thing and come out with another issue I never thought I had but now have to look into with a whole new doctor.

So I was worrying all day about one particular test I was going to have done and whether something they are monitoring was getting better, worse or stayed the same. Obviously I was thinking of all the possible horrible things they might tell me and how I would deal with it.

Until I got home, and turned on the television and  noticed nearly every local channel broadcasting the aftermath of the bombings in Boston. I was in shock, my first reaction was "not again." You have to understand I live in New York, so I was around for the first World Trade Center bombings and  9/11, it hits home.  Another random senseless act of violence on innocent people just trying to live. People actually enjoying themselves, some of whom were running because they can, others cheering them on, happily.

Yet here I am thinking about how my life my might become worse and miserable with the uncertain news I was waiting to receive.

Sometimes life can change in an instant, so it's better to live life happily then to sit worrying about what might happen. Easier said than done, I know...but worth a try.


Temporary Freedom

I'm free, 
free not to be here,
 free from the chains that hold me to you,
 free to do what makes me happy, 
free to not think of you until I have to again.
To go wherever I want, 
to wake up when I want and sleep when I feel like it. 
I'm free, even if it's just for a day, the weekend or a short vacation. 
I'm FREE....until I have to go back to you again. 
The bane of my existence, of my repetition, of my misery. 
 I blink and I am back...
 I hate my job.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What you mean to me...

Never have I told you
you are nothing to me
if you disappeared today
it would be a new tomorrow
if you called my name
i would be deaf
if you touched my face
it would melt away
never have I told you
you took all of me
i sometimes wish
i would have told you.